What happens in the mind of the aggressor?
In recent years, they have been murdered in Spain by their husbands, boyfriends or ex-partners, 975 women. According to the report of the National Institute of Statistics on gender violence last year, the number of victims of gender violence with a protective order or precautionary measures registered in the Registry was 29.008 women. In addition, the rate of victims of gender violence was 1,4 for each 1.000 women of 14 and more years. In Canary Islands during the second quarter of 2018 a total of 2.007 complaints for alleged cases of Violence against Women (VSM), which means 6,1% less compared to the same period of 2017, which was closed with 2.138 complaints. However, Canary Islandsis situated as the fifth community with the most complaints for sexist violence having a rate of 19,46 cases for each 10.000 women residents on the islands. Ahead are the Balearic Islands (30), Murcia (22,94), Valencia (21,89) and Cantabria (20,43).
La WHO calculate that around 35% of women in the world have suffered physical and / or sexual violence from a partner or by third parties at some point in his life. In short, these alarming data make it clear that domestic violence is a worldwide problem that requires attention from the institutions and also, why not, the most scientific field.
Given this situation, it is impossible not to consider trying to understand what happens in the mind of the aggressor. What reasons and what internal and external events cause a person to become an abuser? Why do they seek humiliation, control and isolation of the couple? What is the reason for the lack of fear of the consequences of the acts that an abuser has?
The truth is that they have carried out numerous investigations that try to understand and explain what it is that leads a human being to attack others. Is there a common profile? A common characteristic among abusers is that they are people intolerant. Batterers do not respect the opinions, attitudes or behaviors of others. They are people full of prejudices. This causes them to react in an aggressive, resentful and uneducated way, since they feel that there is no reason to prevent their own will from prevailing.
The abusers consist of experts en hide your psychopathy in the eyes of others, and even psychologists specialized in sexist violence are not able to identify them without first submitting them to an exhaustive personality analysis. Hence, in many cases, the appearance of an abuser in a nearby environment is surprising. With or without studies, with money or without money, sociological patterns do not serve to classify abusers. According to experts, they are usually well-adjusted socially and only use aggressiveness against those with whom they have a strong bond.
What reasons and what internal and external events cause a person to become an abuser?
Why do they seek humiliation, control and isolation of the couple?
What is the reason for the lack of fear of the consequences of the acts that an abuser has?
Some psychologists claim that there is a common pattern between abusers, for example, who in their childhood have been victim of humiliation by his father and without obtaining the support of his mother. A humiliation that produces insecurity in adult life. They also suffer from fear of separation, so they can not stand the fact that women have a life of their own. In short, they identify the couple as an object of their possession.
What all psychologists specializing in gender violence are convinced of is that it is a pathology that can be reversed. The characteristics of their behavior have to do with wrong learning processes that they try to emulate throughout their lives and that are mainly based on patriarchy. However, experts agree that it is impossible to re-educate those who do not have the will to do so. It is vitally important to act at an early age to promote education in equality and respect. Thus, Problems such as bullying in young people is a truly important issue for our society. How many future abusers will continue to appear if school bullying is not controlled in schools? Education, guidance and respect for others is a motto with which all people should grow.
How can women who suffer gender violence be helped?
Apart from the problem of detecting possible abusers in time, there is also a lot of work to be done in the guidance and support to women victims. The reality is that, in many cases, many women remain silent, justify and even deny that they are victims. Among the main disorders that manifest themselves in the psychic health of those affected by gender violence are the depression, anxiety, disorders of behavior and post-traumatic stress. Many women feel guilty, distrust themselves and others, feel a lot of fear, helplessness and, above all, shame. This makes them hide what they are suffering. Faced with these situations, experts recommend:
- First and foremost, denounce. The emergency and counseling telephones available are the 112 (emergency telephone number) and the 016 (telephone number for battered women). The latter has been operational since September of 2007 and is a telephone information and legal advice service. Also, it leaves no trace on the telephone bill.
- You do not have to feel guilty. We must bear in mind that the victim is not responsible for what is happening to him.
- Do not let time pass. Time will not solve anything, it will only cause violence to grow. You have to act from the beginning.
- Ask for professional help. The support of a professional who helps and guides the victim out of the situation in which they find themselves is fundamental.
- Protect the children They are the spectators of the violence since they suffer it in the first person. The daily experience of violence is installed in the psyche of children and young people and causes suffering with negative effects on their evolutionary development, effects likely to generate behavioral problems and general malaise in the future.
- Do not isolate The isolation only leads to delay the exit. We must try to recover your social, work, personal, family relationships.